Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Sitting down at the basement of T15; also known appropriately as the Study Area. And mind you, it's not comfy air-conditioned, but FANS-operated. Not that I mind or anything. I'm just here to slack off my time while blogging and surfing sites.

But before I start off with anything long and draggy, I just wanted to put this OUT LOUD.

Baby, I Love You.

And so, I shall continue my thoughts.

Its not really that easy this semester. Yes I agree I've early classes which means early dismissals as well. Though it also means waking early and driving through the damn ECP morning jam with ERP which cost a phreaking bomb la. But those are all besides the point.

What I mean to express, is that I'm totally stressed up. And when I think about it, I ask myself, "What stress?"

My mind could only numbly answer, "Stress? You're just running away from responsibilities that you ought to fulfil, dreams that must be filled. Compare your stress to your parents, compare it to those who wish to have a life like yours. You call yourself stressed? I wonder how stressed you can be."

Lets touch on the topic of 'Normal'.
I believe I've been taking most things for granted; people and relationships for granted. Look at me. What can you see? I think it's just an 'Ah-Sia Kia" or perhaps a 'Spoiled-brat'. And I do not deny entirely. In fact, I feel rather angry, with myself for allowing every mistake, every cock-up, every shit and *ucked up thing that has happened. I won't quote exactly to you dear reader, but I'm sure for the select few (if not then the sole most important person in my life) will know what I'm talking about.
Then here comes the point of taking things for granted; A good life where I have anything and everything I want, and a relationship that is sheer perfection to the point of fairy-tale/love-story like. With the first being, wanting more with what good things I already have. I mean instead of treasuring what's in front of me, I'm expecting more? That's really not being a very nice person, right? (Think : SPOILED BRAT / 'AH SIA-KIA') So the only solution to this first and foremost problem, is this; To look for a job and hence knowing all-over the value of money and not to that things I have in life (materially of course) for granted. With the first being solved (verba- I mean literally), let us come to the latter. Taking relationships for granted; Relationships are difficult to build yet crumbles so easily. Life. But anyways let us go on with this problem. There is someone whom I love so so much (I'm sure you know who you are ;] ) but yet take for granted and even with something so punishable, I made it worse by harbouring to actions so wrongful of which I should be burned alive on the stake for. Instead of leaving, she stayed. And loved me still with an open heart. I'm grateful for that. Very grateful, albeit at the same time guilty. It has also come to my realisation that I should really treasure her, for good. Losing her... is not an option. I hope it never happens.

**Dear reader, if you are feeling lost in my sentences, I totally understand, and hope you will understand that my thoughts are in a mess, somehow. So please share the same understanding and try to bear with me for the rest of the post. Thank you :] -Ji


Anyways I doubt there's more to post right now, its about time I head for class. Lunch-time, the place is getting rather crowded. It sucks if there were anyone reading this while I'm typing. Invasion of privacy? My ass la. If it were, would I be typing this entry and letting everyone view? Dumb la, just dumb.

This is JJ signing off on a wonderful Tuesday, and here's to wishing you a cheery 2nd day of the week.


Sincerely yours,
Ji